You Live and You Learn
by Leomonta
Summary: "Did you hear about that one human island? What was it called..Bark, Berp...Berk?" - "Ohh ohh I have! They say you can nab a Human PET if you live there! Ahh it must be great to have one of them rub your neck. Maybe I'll go see if I can get one?"


Humans are interesting- strange even. They walk about their massive wooden structures like they're doing something and have places to be, things to do. But see that's where it gets weird. You see the thing is- they don't. Half the time they just stand there doing nothing. They'll either be walking around, looking at their sharp rocks, talking to their other lazy counterparts, but the majority don't even hunt for their own food. I've seen it with my very eyes once when I decided to take a peek in their large wooden den. All they do is sit down, and food just comes to them. It's as if a mother dragon is just spewing out gobs of food for her helpless hatchlings. But these animals aren't helpless. I've seen what they can do when they raise their sharpened rocks. So what I don't get is how their habitat doesn't fall to ruin. If no one hunts, yet everyone is eating, where does it _come_ from. Sometimes I think it's better to stop wondering.

I mean, _is_ there a point in laying out legs of mutton or entire fish on ropey lines, drenched in salty rocks to sit in the sun and dry? No. No there isn't. It just gets hard and salty. A complete waste of effort and time.

Once, I even saw one of the skin-wrapped animals mounting a deer head on their wooden cave wall. That was a dark day for deer kind. Talk about macabre. I mean, either eat it or let the vultures. Don't store the thing.

And yet, despite the strangeness of these small eyed creatures, there is not a single dragon I can talk to on this island who hasn't at least once talked about how nice it is to be friends with one. Seriously though, I've talked to five nadders, two nightmares, probably two dozen terrible terrors, the lack of ingenuity in those conversations is better left unsaid, and all of them have mentioned _something_ about their human pet.

And now that they have one they can't stop telling me that _I_ should get one, and just will not shut up about it. So here I am in the disorganized den of humans. Really though, how can I call them smart when they call their home some sound that resembles that of a burp?

Now the real question for me is: how do I get one. There's so many dragons around here that I think they just...forget that we're here. Like those smells that after a while you forget but are actually still there.

Maybe it's like a courting ritual. If I hop down from this wooden perch and flared my wings, would it get their attention? It's worth a try. I hop down from my resting place, landing in front of one of the ones with long hair. Hmm... the ones with the face hair look better. It's like their face is engulfed in their own hair so much so you can only see their eyes. It's rather funny actually.

The long haired human stopped in its tracks and looked up at me. Geesh, they're so small, but anyway I went along with my plan and spread my wings, coughing up a nice roar to go along with it. That ought to get its attention, but wait, why was it backing up? Wait, did it really just walk away from me? Come on~ what do you want from me stupid creature. What more could you possibly want from me? Arrgh.

Fine! Be that way! I didn't like you anyway. I folded up my wings and huffed a cloud of smoke in the general direction the human walked off in.

So maybe it's not like courting. OK then, then what _is_ it like. If one of those half-wit terrors can nab a skin shifter then I can too.

OK, there are about a half dozen of them walking around me and none of them are looking! I leaned my neck in closer to trap its attention but it only took a startled glance at me then walked away. It's like I'm not even here! This is ridiculous. Those darned human-lovers lied to me, told me it would be easy. Well guess what, I'm not gonna give up until I'm dragging one with me by the tip of my tail if just to show them I can too.

When a sharp tug pulled at my tail I spun around, ready to snap at any beast who dared to defile my precious appendage. I glared at the perpetrator who hung from my limb like a smitten terror, gargling up its own concoction of a language. Its stubby arms clamped around my tail with its fur coated paw things dangling feet above the ground. I brought the tiny parasite close to my snout and examined its existence.

It held a mop of shaggy brown hair atop a rounded, flat face. A small bulbous nose-like thing protruding from the center. Oh wait that is the nose. And two wide eyes staring back at me. This is one of their hatchlings, yes? Hmm...not very cute if you ask me.

The tiny animal shimmied its lower half onto my tail, positioning itself to sit atop me, presumably more comfortably. Then its flat mouth tilted its corners upwards. Hmm...happy-right? Yes yes. This was a happy expression yes...wait, why?

Carefully it balanced its two legs and stood up.

Oh no.

And jumped off and onto my face.

No! Nooooo!

NOOOOOOOO! MY FACE! HOW DARE YOU CREATURE!

I could feel its blunt paws scratching and clawing its way up my precious face and towards my beautiful horns. I swung my head around viciously to dislodge the pest but it had already latched itself on my neck. Already I could feel its gangly limbs encircle my throat, no doubt planning to strangle me. But no! I would not go down here. There was no way I'm dying by the hands of these worthless humans, not before I show those terrors and nadders how much of a gullible fool they are.

With a mighty roar loud enough to rival a thunderdrum I soaked myself In a coat of flames, lighting myself from end to end, letting nothing remain uncovered. Immediately the pest relinquished its hold on me and jumped off my neck screaming and yelling that only stopped when it hit the ground with a hard thud. The impact only halted the shouts for a moment because soon it began to scream and roll around, wriggling its bottom into the ground like an unearthed worm. Only once the scorching bottom was cooled did the youngling's screams dwindle down into whimpers and moans of distress.

Hah! That'll teach you to mess with dragonkin you eel!

I turned around to leave when I noticed a crowd of the wretched humans gathered around me, watching. Even some of my own kin located themselves in the mix. "What?" I asked, " you saw it, it tried to strangle me!"

A small, crimson terror crawled out of the huddled, scrambling up to the burnt hatchling that now held its face in its thin paws. The terror waddled around the human, looking at it and then proceed to sniff its bottom. Ew. "You've burnt him" the tiny dragon hissed. Not soon after, a pack of humans followed the terror and huddled around the child, mumbling in soft voices, trying to help it. Not one of them dared look at me. And when they did they skirted away in fear.

I questioned the terror about this. What had I done wrong? It had been the one to jump me. The crimson dragon only shook his head, "You are young and you are blind. The boy only wanted a ride. Now, you'd best fix what you've done before the mother appears or you'll have pain greater than a damaged wing."

The dragon didn't look back before flying off into some other location, leaving me with the child and a bunch or irritated onlookers. OK so _maybe_ I overreacted, but that didn't mean it had any right to mount me.

I bent my neck to look at the child more closely, shuffling some of the more timid humans away. It held its moistened face in its long fingers and sniffled constantly while the humans tried to comfort it. The annoying sounds only grew louder when it looked at me and began crying once more.

Damn it. Even I knew well enough that no one wants to be near an angry mother, human or no. So I did what the next sensible dragon would do in this situation and placed the screaming child in my mouth. No screams no mother. Problem solved.

I could hear a few gasps from around me some of the humans backing up even farther. I don't know what their problem is. It stopped crying, right? That means I did something right.

Eventually when I got tired of having a disgusting lump of meat sitting in my mouth I spat the animal back out, scraping my tongue across my teeth to remove the revolting taste. The young human landed face first into the dirt, body soaking in my own saliva. It turned around and looked at me. Its eyes were wide with fear and just stood there petrified. It wasn't long however before the beast started to yowl again, this time only louder.

No! Nononono! Bad! Stop screaming! I panicked but my worrisome roars only brought about louder cries. I clamped my jaw over the things body. It worked once before, why couldn't it work again I reasoned. But the noise only echoed throughout my skull, making me spin around dizzy.

Crap this was bad, not only did I manage to fail utterly at getting a human pet, I managed it to piss off one of their young, and the darned thing was still screaming. Oh, gosh, I need to get this thing somewhere the mother won't hear it. Um not in town, no, it'd just run back from the forest, ooh I know the sky.

There was no way these silly humans could hear the child hundreds of feet above their head. It was perfect. And while I beat my wings to lift me off of the ground I couldn't help but grin at my ingenious plan. Sure enough it wasn't long before I floated high enough above their shores where even I couldn't hear their useless mumbling.

At some point the annoying young's cry stopped only to be replaced by thrashing around. Oh ow that hurt, what, was this thing made of nails? You little- that scratch is going to bleed I moaned. This dang human is causing such a fuss, really, what's the problem? Whatever, it stopped crying so I figured I could drop it off on the ground again, and really I would have if this darn thing didn't pull on my tongue so hard that I yelped in pain, evidently dropping it.

The screams returned as it plummeted down to earth at astonishing speeds. AW come on. I dove after the screaming irritant, there was no point in letting it die. I came in after the human, delicately holding it in my talons. it immediately stopped its yowling and for once sat peacefully while I sailed back down to the ground.

Once there I dropped down onto the floor while gracefully landing myself in front a few yards off. Oddly enough once I landed I noticed that the crowd had dispersed, leaving me and this wide eyed child together alone. It didn't run away like I half expected it to, instead it stared at me with beady eyes beneath an unruly mop of brown fur. All the while it seemed to be lifting up its flat mouth, revealing those uselessly flat teeth. Well that could't be good, the last time it had smiled it had attempted to strangle me. But was it really trying to kill me? that darned terror could have been right...either way i'm not letting you out of my sight little human.

Unfortunately it seemed he failed to hear me and continued to waddle closer. Not wanting to be near it I backed up at the same rate that the little human neared. This darn imbecilic creature just could not take a hint it seemed; it just kept coming closer! No more! tiny nuisance, you will not have me backing away from such an inferior life form. That was it; I took my stance. I would stand my ground and face what ever terror came after. And terrific it was.

Holy bee hives that felt _good~_ Something reached behind my horn and was sending me into true bliss at the moment. Ahh, what level of perfect branches did this scratch come from. That tiny spot right behind my horn I could never reach is finally easing its itch and falling into bliss. Truly I must to know where this lovely branch is to mark it in my memory for future endeavors, for I have never found a branch so perfect for the task.

When had my eyes fallen closed, I could not tell, but I opened them anyway only to see that squirming mutt getting up close to my head and - and - giving me the best scratch I've had in my life.

 _Yes, yes._ Right _theerre~_

I will let you live for now child. If only so you will scratch me in the future.

Who knew humans could be so useful. Maybe those darn gossip dragons were right. Having a pet is awesome.

?...

So first FF in the httyd side, i plan on doing more...eventually...

vikings- where kidnapping by dragons takes place in common

This story pretty much wrote itself. I thought of making this a series but felt I didn't know where I would go with this so didn't.

And i will have you know i wrote this instead of my college app, so be happy.

He's such an $$, although sometimes I wish I could do the same, children irritate the heck out of me.

Honestly you better be happy those parents aren't in town at the moments or they would have your hide.

What type of dragon do you think he is? Its kind of obvious.

Do you think everything here is concise? Usually I have a problem with rambling.

What type of "Viking" name would you give the two?

I really want to know what is a dragons skin call? is it hide? because they have scales unlike lizards...and its not pelt because they don't have fur… I mean, what do you call fish skins?


End file.
